It takes a lot of time and energy to keep a marriage alive and healthy and this task is made considerably difficult when one spouse in the marriage is not putting in the same amount of time and effort. So, if you ever had to ask this question, why is my husband yelling at me? Then it is time to rethink some stuff.
It goes without saying but one has to say this over and over. When it comes to spousal abuse, it is always the woman, the wife who suffers the most in a relationship. Whether it is beatings, yelling, or something far worse it is the wife who usually gets the short end of the stick.
According to the UN statistics, 1 out of 3 women experience violence at the hands of their husbands. However, today we will focus only on the yelling part and try to answer the question: why is my husband yelling at me and what can I do to stop it.
Why is my husband yelling at me? Six possible reasons
Before we even start, let us state unequivocally that there is never a right reason for a husband to yell at his wife and we are not looking for a reason to justify the actions of a husband. Rather we are just going to analyze what possible reasons can make a husband yell at his wife.
Does he have anger issues?
Having anger management issues is one of the most common reasons for a person to get into a rage and yell at others or even get physical. People especially men who have problems controlling their anger have issues rooted in their childhood, issues that have made them maladaptive to dealing with their anger.
More likely than not they come from a household where yelling at a family member and getting angry over petty things is a normal thing and they have suffered mental or physical abuse at the hand of their parents or caregivers and are not perpetuating this cycle with you.
Is he insecure about something?
Insecurity can make a person react in unexpected ways and yelling at others, especially their wives is one of the common ways to do it. Even a man who feels insecure about himself for one reason or another holds enough power over his wife to yell at her and feel good about himself for a brief moment.
Is stress the reason he is yelling at you?
If your husband is generally a nice person and then for some reason, he starts yelling at you then it is the perfect time for you to ask this question why is my husband yelling at me? Because there is a good chance something is bothering him and causing him stress and this is his unhealthy of dealing with said stress.
Again, one can never justify a husband yelling or being abusive at his wife, but if it is a rarity and has never happened before then we should ask what might have caused him to react this way and you will find nine of out ten times it is stress.
Does he have substance abuse issues?
Substance or drug abuse often leads a person to be violent and physically and verbally abusive. At the very least it can greatly exacerbate the situation. So, if your husband has substance abuse issues, it can be one of the main reasons for him yelling at you and if not managed the abuse will only get worse.
Does he have mental health issues?
People suffering from mental health issues are also prone to violence or lashing out angrily. Having a mental issue does not mean a person is always in a maladaptive state of mind. Your husband can be calm one day and manic the next day and yell at you for no reason.
Perhaps it is a cultural thing?
Not everyone will agree with this but in some cultures, women are not given the same amount of respect as men and misogyny is rampant. This form of misogyny often translates to married life as well, where the husband is considered the authoritative figure, and yelling is considered his basic right.
Why is my husband yelling at me and how do I stop it?
You as a wife should never have to compromise and endure this verbal abuse in the form of yelling. If the yelling gets out of hand, it is time to take action and there are several ways for you to take action. Some of them are as follows.
Start by setting boundaries
From the very first time it happens; you need to stop it and you do so by setting boundaries and letting your husband know that you will never let him yell at you. If you don’t stop him at the very beginning, later on, it might be too late.
Identify the cause and fix it
One of the most effective ways to fix this issue is to identify the root cause and remedy it. Find out what is causing him to yell like this, as we discussed above and if you can fix that problem, you can stop him from yelling.
Seek support
If there is no stop to the yelling and you can’t find the answer to why is my husband yelling at me then perhaps it is time to get some outside help. Try marriage counseling with your husband, seek anger management therapy for him, or join a support group that deals with such issues.
Separation and divorce
As a wife or a husband, you cannot cut and run at the first sign of trouble, but if the yelling and the abuse get out of hand and you have tried everything, and nothing has worked. Then maybe it is time to think about separation and divorce.
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